


Scars on the Door to Your Heart

by aurons_fan



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3509300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurons_fan/pseuds/aurons_fan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku didn't know why, but even though he was happy being with Sora, there was always something about it that just felt... off.</p><p>(Tumblr Prompt of Riku/Sora and "things you said after it was over." This is the sad version.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars on the Door to Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend requested a fic with the pairing Riku/Sora and the prompt: "things you said after it was over." And I wrote a cracky response because I couldn’t do it. But apparently I can! Haha… I only listened to the saddest songs I could when writing this. :(
> 
> Title is from Timeless by Xiah Junsu & Janh Ri In.

Riku loved Sora with every fiber of his being. He loved seeing Sora smile at Kairi when they finally made it back to Destiny Islands and the relieved look he had when she dragged them back to their parents’ homes. He loved that Sora took charge at explaining where they’d been after all this time, over-enthusiastic hand movements and all. And he loved seeing Sora’s determination beckoning him when they were on the small island, saying that just because Riku had been beaten by Sora before, that wasn’t fair, so it was time for a real fight.

So when Sora, all flustered and embarrassed, hang wringing and flushing, pulled Riku aside one day after school and said that he’d liked Riku for _ever_ , and really would like to date him, it was second nature for Riku to say yes. It was _Sora_ , of course there would be nothing else that would make him happy.

But as they dated, there was always something that was off. Riku could never place what it was, but even though he was happy being with Sora, there was always something that felt a little wrong.

After a few months after they started to date, Riku and Sora were at Kairi’s house, watching a movie with a few other kids from the island. Sora sat besides Riku on the couch, head resting on his shoulder, and Riku’s heart couldn’t stop pounding. It wasn’t because of the situation or even the movie (which was a pretty gruesome horror movie, _thanks_ Selphie).

But then Sora leaned over and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, “I love you,” Riku’s stomach dropped.

It hit him like a ton of bricks while he loved everything about Sora, he wasn’t actually _in_ love with Sora. He gasped like he’d been punched in the stomach and quickly shot up.

Kairi turned from her seat on the floor and gave him a weird look. “Is everything okay?” she asked.

Tidus elbowed her. “Of course,” he said, grinning. “It’s Riku and Sora. They were probably doing stuff.”

Wakka grimaced and Sora turned a lovely shade of red, shaking his head. “We weren’t…” he stammered, turning to Riku for help.

Riku gave Sora what he hoped was a reassuring look and moved Sora’s arm. “I just have to…” he said, gesturing to the hall where the bathrooms were.

Without another word, he hopped off the couch. He bypassed the bathroom and instead walked outside onto the porch, before flopping onto the stairs and covering his face with his hands.

Even with this realization, it would be easier to just to keep things the way they were. Obviously, he loved Sora (why else would he spend so much time searching for ways to bring his friend back), but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that from now on, every time Sora smiled at him, Riku would be lying to him. Again, and again, and _again_.

After a few minutes, he heard footsteps softly behind him, and he kept his face covered, not really sure what emotion his face would betray. The person sighed and sat next to him, and he peeked open an eye to see it was Kairi giving him a worried look.

“Sora would be out here,” she said, noting his confused look. “But he’s currently locked in an argument with Tidus that you two weren’t having sex on my couch.”

Riku almost laughed but it came out as more like a strangled sob and he rubbed his eyes.

“Anything you wanna tell me?” she said, frowning. “I mean, you looked worried all day and then suddenly… this. What’s up?”

He debating just playing it off as a bad stomach ache, but he looked at her again and it was _Kairi_. She’d seen through his attempts to stay hidden when he looked like Xehanort’s Heartless. There was no way she wouldn’t notice this eventually. And when she did…

“I…” He said, his throat drying up. He frowned, turned over the sentence in his head. “I love Sora.”

Kairi grinned and punched his shoulder. “Oh my god, Riku, you’re so dramatic. Go in there and tell him then!” Her smile froze when his eyes widened. “You weren’t done, were you.”

“I love Sora,” Riku repeated, closing his eyes. “But I’m… not in love with him?” He groaned, and covered his face again. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

Kairi was silent for a moment, before she gingerly removed his hands. “Riku,” she said, and he looked up at her. “I’m going to say something. Just nod yes or no. You love Sora.” He nodded with a frown. “But you… want to break up with him.”

When he nodded again, slower this time, she gasped.

“But why! You guys are …” she frowned. “I mean, you guys are cute, but you wouldn’t break up because of that.”

“I don’t know,” Riku admitted, leaning back on his hands. He’d half thought telling someone would make him feel better, but it really, really didn’t. “But it’s Sora. He deserves the world. Not… to be with someone who won’t love him.”

“But you could eventually?” Kairi asked. “I mean, you already love him and you’ve done so much for him!” She sighed when Riku fixed her with a look. “So you’ve decided then? That’s it?"

He shrugged and turned back to watching the ocean waves. “I guess.”

Kairi didn’t say anything for a long moment, before turning and giving him a tight hug. “He’s going to be devastated,” she said softly. “And it’s going to be your fault.” He froze, turning to look at her. “And,” she continued, resting her head on his shoulder. “Everyone is going to blame you.”

“Why are you saying this?” Riku said, pulling away.

She fixed him with a determined look. “Because. If this is what you want, I’ll have your back. I mean, I’m not going to abandon Sora, but I’ll make sure people don’t like, fling you off a building or something for hurting him.”

After a moment, he let out a sigh and pulled her in for another hug. “Thanks Kairi,” he said softly.

\--

A few days later, Sora approached Riku sitting on the paopu tree. “What did you call me here for?” Sora said, leaning against the tree. “I thought we were going to work on homework at your house.”

Riku could feel his hands shaking, but worked really hard at staying calm, and continued staring at the ocean. “Sora…”

“I mean,” Sora said, hopping on the tree next to him, leaning his head against his shoulder. “I _know_ when you say do homework you really mean making out, but some homework does need to be done.”

“We need to talk.”

Sora froze. “Ha,” he said, after a long moment. “Ha, ha, ha, what did you just say? It almost sounded like…”

Riku sighed. “I said, we need to talk.”

Sora lifted his head off Riku’s shoulder and fixed him with a worried look. “You know,” he said finally, smiling. “You shouldn’t start out things like that. That’s what they say in tv shows when one person wants to break up.” When Riku didn’t answer, Sora’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

Riku turned to face him. “It’s not you,” he said quickly. “It’s really not. Sora, I love you. You’re one of the best people in this world, and in so many others. But I…” He trailed off, biting his lip. Sora looked like he was blinking back tears and the speech he had was a lot easier to give to himself in front of the mirror. “I…”

“No! No, no, it’s fine!” Sora said, a little louder than necessary. “If you want to break up, that’s okay.” He laughed, and Riku felt his heart break. He didn’t even know why he reached a hand forward, but Sora leaned back every so slightly. “It’s… you don’t have to explain. It’s alright. I actually have to head home. Right now.”

And with that, Sora hopped off the bridge and headed towards the dock at a much faster pace than normal. Riku was just sat there watching him, unable to move.

\--

The next day at school was quite horrible, to put it lightly. Sora looked like he was trying his best to be incredibly positive and upbeat, but anyone who knew Sora could tell something was off. Kairi kept shooting Riku worried looks all day. If someone had asked what had happened in class, Riku would have been completely lost. All he could think about was how right Kairi was and maybe that he shouldn’t have said anything.

At lunch, Tidus decided enough was enough. “Riku,” he said, before Sora showed up to the table. “Your boyfriend is obviously upset. You need to make him feel better.”

“I thought Sora was acting strange!” Selphie chimed in, frowning. “Did something happen?”

“I…” Riku started, but Tidus waved a hand.

“No matter. Go buy him a snack or something. He likes paopu juice right? Get him that. And candy. And sweets. And go apologize for things you didn’t even do. Just cheer him up!” Tidus shivered, and leaned in closer. “It’s _weird_ for Sora to be this peppy. It’s almost like-”

“Hey guys!” Sora said, plopping down at the table in the seat next to Riku. He grinned, and yeah, that wasn’t a natural smile. “What are you talking about?”

Everyone fidgeted awkwardly, until Wakka said, “What’s eating at you?” Tidus’s jaw dropped and Selphie smacked herself in the face. Wakka shrugged. “No one else will ask, so I might as well.”

Sora shrugged and drummed on the table. “It’s nothing guys, promise,” he said, pulling out his sandwich. “Did anyone figure out the answers on that quiz?”

“Sora,” Selphie said, frowning. “You don’t look fine. Are you sure?”

Tidus nodded. “We told Riku to go be a good boyfriend bu-”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Sora said sharply. He stared down at the table before put his food away. “Actually, I’m not that hungry.”

And with that, Sora stood up from the table and walked away. Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie all gave Riku odd looks when he didn’t jump up and follow.

“Maybe,” Kairi said, jumping into the conversation. “Sora just needs to be alone for a little while?”

Riku stared down at the table and said nothing.

Selphie huffed. “Well okay,” she said. “But if something is still wrong tomorrow, we’re having an intervention.”

\--

When Riku went over Sora’s house later that day, he realized he shouldn't be doing this. But… it was _Sora_. It didn’t matter that Riku was the one who made him feel this way, it practically written in his blood that he would be the one to cheer Sora up.

Before he could knock on the door, Sora’s mom opened it and sighed. “Oh Riku,” she said. “Sora’s been so upset all day!”

“I wanted to see if he doing any better,” Riku said, because he wasn’t about to admit what role he played to Sora’s mother.

She nodded and stepped past him. “I was running to the market to get some foods he likes. Maybe that’ll cheer him up. But see what you can do, okay?”

He watched her hustle down the street and almost wished to follow her. After a moment, he exhaled, and shut the door, heading up to Sora’s room.

“Sora?” he said, knocking softly. There was no answer but Riku knocked again. “Sora, come on. Let me in.”

The door remained shut. He jiggled the handle and realized it was also locked.

Riku frowned, and, after a minute of deliberation, summoned his Keyblade and unlocked the door. He tentatively stepped inside to see Sora sitting on his bed, back to the door, staring out the window.

“That,” Sora said softly, “is cheating.”

Riku sighed and shut the door behind him. “Sora…”

And Sora turned around, tears streaming down his face. “What did I do wrong Riku?” he said, not moving from his spot. “I thought…”

Riku sat on the bed next to him. “You didn’t do anything,” he said, mainly to the floor. “I’m so sorry.”

Sora took a deep breath. “You said you love me,” he replied shakily. “Then why would you do this?”

“Because,” Riku said, finally turning to Sora. He resisted the urge to flinch when Sora’s eyes, even as they watered over in tears, stared him down determinedly. “You deserve someone who is in love with you. Someone who lights up when you walk into a room. Someone who would do anything for you. And-”

Sora scoffed and pushed off the bed. “And what, that’s suddenly not you? Did you forget what has happened over the past two years? Riku…” He turned and placed his hands on Riku’s shoulders. “I love you. You are my best friend and I would do anything for you. And I _know_ you would do the same.” His strong look fell and he clung to Riku, head resting against Riku’s chest. “Please, don’t _do_ this!”

Every fiber in Riku’s being told him to tell Sora that he was wrong and that they should be together. And for half a moment, he almost did. He wanted to be with Sora for the rest of their lives and he wanted to always be there by his side. Maybe this would be the best way for him to have that.

He wrapped his arms around Sora’s neck, hugging him. After a long moment, he gently pushed Sora back. Sora stumbled and looked as Riku stood up from the bed and closed his eyes.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Riku said. “But I can’t do this anymore.”

With that, Riku turned and walked out of Sora’s house.


End file.
